It's been almost two full days since my surgery, so I wanted to share with you the good things God has been teaching me and doing in my life.
I've known about this surgery for a few months now, but it wasn't until the last few days leading up to it that I really started feeling nervous about it. I know that God works all things for good, but I also know, too, that Satan likes to get a hold of our minds and discourage us from time to time. The condition I had is called, hydrosalpinx, which is when one or both fallopian tubes are filled with liquid, due to blockage caused by scar tissue. My emergency appendectomy a year and a half ago caused me to head back to the hospital a few days later because of an infection. Over time, scar tissue built up in that little area of my body and has caused me pain, discomfort and infertility over the past several months.
With the desire to be pain-free, healthy and have children some day, the only option was to have surgery. The severity of the scar tissue was unknown until surgery, but the good news is that it was only on that one tube and no where else. Lord-willing, we'll be able to have our own biological children some time in the future.
During this trial, the Lord has given me some different verses to meditate on. I love what it says in I Peter 1:7--"That the trial of your faith, being much more precious than of gold that perisheth, though it be tried with fire, might be found unto praise and honour and glory at the appearing of Jesus Christ." Although it's been a difficult time for me, this verse has shown me that this trial must praise and give glory to God. I want my life and testimony to show that I am depending and trusting in God no matter what the outcome.
Right before surgery, my pastor came and talked to me to give me some encouragement. He read Psalm 91 and Romans 8:28 which is all about God always having good in store for our lives. I love Psalm 91:11 and 14. They say, "For he shall give his angels charge over thee, to keep thee in all thy ways....Because he hath set his love upon me, therefore will I deliver him: I will set him on high, because he hath known my name." Isn't it awesome to know that God is always watching over us and has a perfect plan for our lives?
Quentin surprised me with this bouquet of flowers that I love looking at when I'm sitting down and resting. Aren't they beautiful? Gerbera daisies are my favorite flower. They are so bright and cheery.:) Q also got me this Sew Beautiful magazine to enjoy. I thought it was another encouragement from the Lord when I read the editor's letter, who shared verses from I Peter 5. Verse 10 says, "But the God of all grace, who hath called us unto his eternal glory by Christ Jesus, after that ye have suffered a while, make you perfect, stablish, strengthen, settle you." Thoughts of being able to encourage other women going through the same thing have crossed my mind, but I also know that God is working through this in my life to refine areas in me that need refining and strengthening.
God placed this magazine editor's words in my path, just like he did with a couple Christian nurses at the hospital and my pastor. The Lord even allowed me to share God's goodness through this with several of the nursing staff and doctors that I believe are not saved.
As I've flipped through the magazine a couple more times, I've enjoyed each page inside of it. The focus on this edition is on the technique of smocking on children's clothing. As smocking is something I want to learn how to do, it was primarily the pictures of the children that made me smile. Perhaps some day I'll be able to make a dress for my own little girl some day. I will look back at this hard time of waiting and going through the pain and remember how God was working it all for good in my life. I even know that if He decides to not give us children biologically, that God is good all the time and I must remain content in Him through all of my days.