This book tugged on my heart a bit because of the life-stage I am in. As we have had a few children in our home through foster care, I can see myself as Mrs. Bear. I am taking care of them, having fun with them and nurturing them. Big Brother and Little Brother did see me as Mom but went home to their real mother after a short time. That time hurt so badly, and now a few months later, I still think of them as my kids and it hurts.
Then, almost two months ago, A came to be with us. She knows her real mother and sees her once a week. She sometimes calls me "Mommy Q", a name she made up for me a while back, but knows that I'm not her real mom. It's been a hard couple of weeks as she has been confused with the situation. Inside my heart, I know I'm a mom but sometimes don't think that I am (sometimes because of others' perceptions). Foster parents and other caregivers out there are moms and dads and love and take care of the children placed in their care.
So, yesterday was a day of mixed emotions for me. I wasn't sure if I should stand up when the mothers were acknowledged at church and given a flower. The little girl who we love so dearly already may not see me as her mom (and that's okay), but she did acknowledge this weekend that I was a mom. I got a few awesome notes from family that encouraged my heart. We had a good family day. We went out for lunch with a dear lady from church. We went to the lake and went fishing. We came back home and grilled hot dogs for dinner. Then A went to sleep.
I don't want to sound selfish or anything, but I wished for more. I wanted what lots of mothers get on this special day....the cards, flowers, chocolates, gifts, the acknowledgment on a more personal level. It sounds really weird, but perhaps when a child calls me "Mom" or when we've made it official by adopting it will be that. I am thankful to those who encouraged me and said I really was a mom to A. Like I said before...I know I'm a mom, but because of our unique situation, don't always feel like it.
So, why write all this after Mother's Day? Well, because it's still on my heart, and if you think of it, could use your prayers right now. And, I also wanted to encourage you to thank and acknowledge caregivers, foster parents, legal guardians, etc. on days like this. There are many of us who wish we could have biological children, but are going through the process of adoption. There are some, too, that give and give and give to children year after year unselfishly in different capacities. They are all parents, too.
I hope I didn't sound too weird, selfish, harsh, or anything. I know that Mother's Day is a sensitive topic to many women out there, too, for different reasons. I just hope by writing this I can be an encouragement, ask for prayer, and bring awareness to those who are not the "typical" mom or dad. We all love to be acknowledged, praised and awarded, don't we?:)
If you get a chance, read A Mother for Choco. It is such a cute and awesome story for kids of all ages.